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Saturday, February 4, 2012 / 9:41 AM
Loving you is suicide.  Turning my back to the past. Turning my back to the past. I'm trying to walk away. Away from what we had. Away from that nightmare. Away from that day. That day when you said your last goodbye. That day when you turned and walk away. I didn't know what to say. I closed my eyes, Just to hide the pain I felt inside. I could never understand. How love went out of hand. I hate the way this feels. I'm scared to be apart from anything, everything. everyone. After the day you made me realise, being apart means losing them forever. Knowing I'll never have the chance to have you back in my arms, Knowing you'll never come back, I know, I should let you go. I know, it's time for me to forget bout everything. But I heard you say you love me, That's the part I can never forget. I know I should let you go. Tell myself what I'm suppose to hear. Tell myself what I'm suppose to do. But my brain is why I can't It replays the memory of us every now and then. It feels like I'm still drown in your every word and every breath that's in between. Now, I'm walking away. walking away from december, All the way till where I am now, in February. I'm done with last december. I'm tired of crying every tear. I'm ready to start again. There's gonna be something else out there for me. I can't let this place keep me down. So I tell myself, my girls are all out there, they're waiting for me. Waiting for me to tell them, I'm fine. They told me, If I'm ready, They'll bring me to the sun and the waves. The sunset and lets not forget the warm autumn days, All I need to do is just get out of here. get away from all these pain I feel. Get away from all that's holding me back. Tho the feelings hasn't passed. It's sad to say our love didn't last. And when I'm done forgetting you, You can say what you wanna do. Because by then, Everything is finally over. |
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Monday, November 21, 2011 / 6:00 AM
I had a dream, a dream so true. I was fast asleep, I had this dream, In that dream, we grew old together. We'll go for breakfast every morning. Just you and me. You'd hold my hands while we walk, Even though it's full of wrinkles. We'll go pick our grandchild from school. And walk home together. We'll have tea in the afternoon. We'll talk about the times we had back then. Our unforgettable memories. We might nag each other at times. Get pissed at each other, Have arguments But in the end, I'll still realize how important you are to me and I don't want to lose you so easily. We'll go walk in the park every evening. Probably laugh at other people like how we used to. And when I get sick, you'll nag me about me not taking care of myself. But still take care of me. We'll celebrate Christmas, New Year, Birthdays, Valentines, and other celebrations together. We'll grow old together. You came into my life, like it's all a dream. A dream I never want to wake up from. You made me fall in love with you, You made me feel special. Falling in love with you, made my life colourful. At times, I'll just smile, thinking bout you. In work, at school, at home, anywhere. Until today, I remember the feeling I had when I first met you. And the feeling I had when I realize, and found out, I love this boy. You slowly became the reason why I love myself more, You also became the reason why I love going to the park. And many people might ask why you? I seriously don't know. I just, love you for you. I know, at times you'll get all stressed up, feel superb frustrated. Just so you know, I hate seeing you sad. It makes me feel like I'm stabbed by a thousand knives. And now, we're in a state where I don't know who am I to you. I sometimes feel so loved, sometimes feel like a total stranger. Maybe I'm a burden to you. But, I really want to get over all these. Get over all these together. You used to make me feel like I'm loved by you, At that time, I'll never doubt your love for me. But now, I'm slowly starting to feel that your love for me is fading. I'm doubting myself. Losing confidence. I know it's not your fault. It's just me. The fear of losing you is haunting me. I'm so afraid that, all in an instant, everything changes. You no longer love me. But don't worry. I won't cry. I won't blame you. As long as you're happy. I'm okay with everything. I won't cry and beg you to stay. I just want you to know, No matter what happens, Even if you start with your bad habits again, I'm okay with it. As long as you're happy. P.S.Iloveyou. |
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Saturday, September 3, 2011 / 1:58 AM
How are you ?   I tried to smile , To forget everything and smile again, I tried to get over it , I tried to go on , But I can't . I still miss you . You said I do care about you , but I just don't love you anymore The moment I heard that , Tears start falling Until today , Tears didn't stop falling . These tears I saved . I've never thought you'll be the one to make the all drop I've never thought you'll be the one to break this broken heart .. I know I have no one else but myself to blame blame myself for not being there enough for trusting you so easily . for falling for you soo easily for being naive . for being weak . I've only got myself to blame . But , it doesn't help to ease this pain . I have no reason to go on. No reason to smile anymore no reason to be happy no reason . I'm going crazy . My heart is broken , I can't sleep at all . Even tho I tried . I might fall asleep . But I'll still wake up in the middle of the night , with tears in my eyes , in my dreams , I had you , so close . so close . you were holding me in your arms And suddenly , you . Disappeared That feeling , It haunts me . Every day , I put on that mask , that smile . to tell everyone , I'm fine . I'm okay . That made everything hurt more and more . No one sees the truth, that I've been crying all night long , when I'm all by myself . My heart aches more than anything . Baby boy , will you give me one more chance ? I'd change my everything I'd do anything . Just promise me you'll come back . Nothing matters more than you . Until you come back , I'm nothing . I STILL NEED YOU BESIDE ME . Do you remember what you told me ? all the promises you made ? you told me you were gonna marry me you told me you don't want anyone else but me. you told me you'll never leave me . you told me I was your one and only . Those words which once make me feel like I'm the happiest girl on earth now hurts me , it's dragging me to hell . And if I so happen to give up on life , that would be one of the reason why . |
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Friday, June 24, 2011 / 5:42 AM
 Dear Superman , will you come back for me ? I'm missing you already . You've been gone for too long . This is killing me . I'm suffering from a pain and it's not healing . I'd jump down to stop this pain . Short update , Went MPSJ with the girls . I miss them alot , :/ Hope to see them again soon . xx , Loves . |
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Thursday, June 9, 2011 / 9:13 AM
Happy Birthday (':  Happy Birthday , Mr Brandon Ong . Hmm , you've been a very nice friend , Always here for me , Listening to me grumble , Giving me advises , I was a useless friend , Couldn't even do a thing when you're down , I might not know the reason behind it , But , It's your birthday , You're suppose to be happy . And after today , No more emo Brandon Ong , Well , maybe you can . Once a week only (: No matter what , I'll always be here , Cheer up okay ? I hope you're feeling better now , You promised me you'll feel better today (: I hope you kept your promises . okay , I'm getting speechless , This was suppose to be up before 12 . But you took years to reply me about what colour you like , Now it's your belated birthday already :/ Sorry D': Happy Birthday again , Love you (: p.s. knowing you're hurt and I can't do a thing , It hurts alot :/ Take care baby boy . love you always . p.s.s , Today , I waited and waited . for just one text . the day ended . not a text , or a call from you , I miss you ;/ |
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Wednesday, June 8, 2011 / 11:45 AM
I miss you .  p.s. I'm sorry I feel so insecure , I guess , I love you a lil too much . I sometimes wonder if you really love me , I do have doubts . When you say you love me , do you really mean it ? I do care you know , I do . Guess you don't know when you talk to them , how much it hurts me ? You didn't know , maybe , you don't even care . Sometimes I feel like giving up , but there's always one reason which stops me for giving up , and that reason is because I love you . I often try and try , try so hard sometimes I get so tired , I tried thinking positive bout things , stop myself from all these negative thoughts , But it's not working , you did so many things which allows me to start thinking negatively , It shouldn't be like this , we're suppose to turn out good . Why do I always have doubts ? I often ask . I feel so ashamed . I'm so insecure . But please , believe me , there's a part of me worth keeping . Don't leave , dont ever leave . Just so you know , no matter what happens , I'm still never gonna give up on you , I made my decision to love you , I'm not gonna let that go so easily , No matter what happens , I'll still love you , Even if it'll hurt me a lot . I hope , I wish , things could just get better , I miss you baby boy . |
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Friday, May 20, 2011 / 5:51 AM
EXAM WEEK D:  Okay , I'm pretty sure everyone is in this mood during exam weeks :/ I've experienced this for the past few days during exams D: Soo , will not update any sooner until exam ends alright ? (: TTYL . |
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